You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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