we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
