Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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