as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
