I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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