Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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