Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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