That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
