Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
whose parrot is this?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
