i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
