ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.