We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize