Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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