I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
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she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
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A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse