So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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