remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult