Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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