Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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