My friends, they love my intelligence
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its not stalking. its research.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
