As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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