At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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