How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
