Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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