wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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