You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
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Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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