Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
