I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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