u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I need a burrito and a hug.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
