I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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