You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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