I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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