can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
