remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
