I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
