she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
