do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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