the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
