I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
