hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
