this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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