Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
