I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
