What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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