Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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