"it" just moved
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
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Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
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Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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