this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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