Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
