Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
