if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I am naked and annoyed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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