I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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