Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
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I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
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He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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