The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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