I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
