i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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