just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
