Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
