So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
