??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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