Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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