forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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