I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
